In response to my sister's post, I'd like to take a moment and discuss the problems of dealing with family. Francesca, this is obviously not about dealing with parents at the age your boys are, but rather navigating adult relationships when neither the parent nor the child are quite sure how to manage them. My mother brings out the 13-year-old in me every time.
For one, I'd like to say that neither my sis nor Myriad (her friend) are planning a wedding -- holy cow are there a lot of "requirements" that get blown out of the water. And although it's neither here nor there, Mister is not the kind of person who gives a flying f*ck about traditions that mean nothing to him. If it's not worth it, he's not going to do it -- no matter if it keeps the peace, perhaps ESPECIALLY if it keeps the peace because then he's "sacrificing principles" blah blah. K, you can imagine how well this goes with Mom if you haven't seen it in action any time recently.
So that's my one special parental problem, but I'm dealing with a few of the others as well. For one, I get a lot of the "if only you lived closer, we could see each other more" speech a lot. It got to the point a while back that I brought it up to Mister as a solution to stopping that complaint. His response? "She'd find something else to complain about." Since that's true, I've gone back to ignoring the "move closer" plaint.
I don't have to deal with any weight complaint issues, since she probably thinks I'm healthy -- I certainly look it enough, but I think I've got a ways to go in the exercise and stamina department. Mister made me take off the punching bag from the registry but I want one OH SO BAD. I just like to punch things. Super awesome stress relief. Also, one of the best runs I've ever had in my life was when I was so frustrated with something and had so much pent-up adrenaline I literally ran about a mile in 5 minutes. Just flat out. My mood went back to normal and I felt fabulous.
I think the one thing that bugs me the most in my dealings with Mom are her attempts to coach me in my relationship. I'm sorry Mom, but you have the most dysfunctional relationship I've ever seen, and you veer pretty close to man-hating. Have I mentioned the time that she told me that it was ok I didn't have a job -- I could just live off of Mister? Because, y'know, he's a man and he should expect to do that. (With the further implication that any money I make is mine, but his is OURS.) Just the sheer number of times she's tried to be all "Look, can I say this and you not tell Mister?" or "Can I say something and you won't get mad at me?" How I've dealt with this is by listening calmly, and explaining how I feel that our relationship differs from what she thinks. This is not to say that our relationship is perfect, but I feel that Mom has a particularly skewed view of it. For one, my mom seems to feel it's better to keep secrets than to be open -- and FYI I know what happens in my relationship if I try that. I'll give you a hint: it involves the biggest fights Mister and I have ever had.
(Another example of her man-hating is the way she keeps trying to get my sister and I to sponge more money and STUFF off of my dad. OMG LADY BACK OFF.)
One thing that I've learned recently about Mom is that she's even worse that my sister and I when she hasn't eaten. Oh she'll tell you she's not hungry, that she doesn't feel hungry at all (lemme tell you how emulating THAT attitude went for me... BADLY), but holy cow does The Beast emerge. When I was fabric shopping with Mom and N (Mister's almost-aunt and a very dear friend of mine), N was frankly shocked at how bitter, angry and verbally abusive Mom was to me and the world in general. We had a second shopping trip where we made a point to grab food (and have Mom NOT get lost and stuck in traffic), and she was absolutely pleasant. N was surprised at the Jeckyll/Hyde nature of Mom and had to revise her opinion of her. The first shopping trip, I was honestly embarrassed of and for her, as Mom normally tries to be agreeable the first time she meets someone! I just couldn't believe how much of a disaster it was. But! Thankfully, I now know this tip about feeding her and I will try to use it accordingly. :-P
If I could change ONE thing about my relationship with Mom it would be this: That when we have disagreements, she doesn't resort to nasty, snide comments about my abilities and/or decision-making. If she could reasonably explain why she feels a certain way, I could reasonably explain the reasons behind the decision-making. It wouldn't lead to such comments as: "Y'know, you're not really that good at sewing. You should just buy a dress" and would instead lead to: "Well, I understand that you want to make your dress since sewing and costuming has been a major part of your life since you were 4, but let's go try on some dresses for ideas". I had to find out through an intermediate party that that was the reason for dress shopping -- not trying to extort me into buying a dress.
I know that supposedly planning a wedding is one of the hardest things that one can do in regards to one's relationship with parents, as figuring out what to do that's right for the new family without compromising current familial ties allows a person to grow fully into an adult role in the community. (I read too many wedding blogs.) But boy oh boy do I wish it was already over and my mom and I figured out our relationship. We'll get halfway to having a real conversation, and then she'll suddenly remember I'm her kid and she'll flip into Mom-Mode and decide to lecture me about whatever it is that I've just shared (disregarding whether or not she's just shared the same bit of information). Bah.
Life is complicated, yo.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
When Life Gives You Limes...
A while back we had a bunch of limes that we neglected to use up properly. The juicer to the rescue! I was very thankful for this today as I'm home sick from school. Mister had a bad headcold that turned into full blown sickness and I caught it a day later. After a restless night (I was up about every hour), I emailed my profs and crawled back into bed after taking ibuprofin, pseudoephedrin and robitussin.
Fast forward to this afternoon when I'm tottering around my house peering into corners for things to make me feel better.
I put the duckie kettle on for water and had every intention of making tea. That was when I remembered the lime juice. So I made a delicious "feel better" concoction of freshly grated ginger, lime juice, ginger simple syrup and hot water. It soothes my throat, has a minimal amount of calories, is warm in my tummy, throat and hands, and smells good (the steam helping my stuffed head as well).
I'm sure most people know about combinations of citrus and honey/syrups for sore throats, but I am so excited to remember it that I have to put it up here.
Fast forward to this afternoon when I'm tottering around my house peering into corners for things to make me feel better.
I put the duckie kettle on for water and had every intention of making tea. That was when I remembered the lime juice. So I made a delicious "feel better" concoction of freshly grated ginger, lime juice, ginger simple syrup and hot water. It soothes my throat, has a minimal amount of calories, is warm in my tummy, throat and hands, and smells good (the steam helping my stuffed head as well).
I'm sure most people know about combinations of citrus and honey/syrups for sore throats, but I am so excited to remember it that I have to put it up here.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Life is Busy
Man, who knew that classes could keep a person busy? Add in guest performing for a local symphony, applying to a local wind ensemble, and cooking tasty meals with friends, and you have a full schedule.
But yeah, my studio prof invited me to perform with the symphony that he's a member of. First concert was hard as hell as I didn't get the music and I sightread it for the two rehearsals I attended. I get the music for the concert at the end of this month this Thursday. :-P
I have a happy new reed that I made last week. I love having working reeds. The second clarinetist in orchestra sharpened my knives for me as I'm terrible at it.
The county wind ensemble is looking for oboists -- I've put in my application, and the conductor should be getting in contact...
Have I mentioned that I received venison from my dad? We just cooked some tasty venison steak tonight with brussel sprouts. So tasty. And on Saturday, Mister and I went to a local sausage maker and bought knockwurst, smoked Hungarian sausage and smoked Polish sausage. Add in my buddy Martin's fried cabbage, our mashed potatoes with cheese, sourdough bread with spread and lots of beer, and you have the recipe for an awesome night. Sometimes, food really is the greatest thing in life.
On the wedding front: the invitations are in, Mister and I are just hammering out the guest list. I think we're pretty close, although K, you know some of the problems. :-P I've also been poking some more at the dress and possibilities for shoes. The bandmaster of the group we want to hire is incredibly busy so hasn't gotten back to confirm details, but we're pretty sure that it'll work out. We still need to contact the caterer. We had a design session with our jeweler, and good news! The design I want, and the size that I need are in her stock selection. She just has to adjust the size slightly (from a 5.5 to a 5.25). Mister's ring requires a bit more. But knowing that mine'll be pretty cheap makes me happy.
And I think that's life!
But yeah, my studio prof invited me to perform with the symphony that he's a member of. First concert was hard as hell as I didn't get the music and I sightread it for the two rehearsals I attended. I get the music for the concert at the end of this month this Thursday. :-P
I have a happy new reed that I made last week. I love having working reeds. The second clarinetist in orchestra sharpened my knives for me as I'm terrible at it.
The county wind ensemble is looking for oboists -- I've put in my application, and the conductor should be getting in contact...
Have I mentioned that I received venison from my dad? We just cooked some tasty venison steak tonight with brussel sprouts. So tasty. And on Saturday, Mister and I went to a local sausage maker and bought knockwurst, smoked Hungarian sausage and smoked Polish sausage. Add in my buddy Martin's fried cabbage, our mashed potatoes with cheese, sourdough bread with spread and lots of beer, and you have the recipe for an awesome night. Sometimes, food really is the greatest thing in life.
On the wedding front: the invitations are in, Mister and I are just hammering out the guest list. I think we're pretty close, although K, you know some of the problems. :-P I've also been poking some more at the dress and possibilities for shoes. The bandmaster of the group we want to hire is incredibly busy so hasn't gotten back to confirm details, but we're pretty sure that it'll work out. We still need to contact the caterer. We had a design session with our jeweler, and good news! The design I want, and the size that I need are in her stock selection. She just has to adjust the size slightly (from a 5.5 to a 5.25). Mister's ring requires a bit more. But knowing that mine'll be pretty cheap makes me happy.
And I think that's life!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Requirements
I have decided that Mister and I need a scullery maid. Just one, we can put a cot up for her somewhere. But someone needs to wash our dishes and it sure isn't gonna be us!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Food of Late
So Mister and I haven't really been eating much at home (as per usual...) but what we have made has been fun!
For Superbowl Sunday, during the halftime show, we made onion strings and fried kasseri cheese using the same breading. As my one Calphalon pan started smelling and spluttering while we were heating the oil, I pulled out my wok for this one. Man it's been awhile since the wok and I were friends!
I learned today that my new favorite quesadilla is: cheddar, spinach and sour cream on the side. OMG delicious. It reminded me quite a bit of fried pierogi.
We've had thawing since last Thursday stewing venison that we got from my dad this Christmas (I love that my dad now hunts!), so venison stew needed to be made. We based it off of a sausage soup that we'd made recently, which Mister apparently based off of goulash? Any way, it involved frying onions in olive oil and bacon fat (venison is very lean, so needs fat added), browning the meat (which was prechopped to a decent size! I didn't expect that), deglazing the pan with a splash of brandy, adding beef stock, carrots, potatoes and spices: bay, salt, pepper, oregano, paprika, cumin, coriander (for those not in the US, this is the seeds, not the leaves), tarragon and cayenne. I let it cook down for about 4 hours, adding in two other batches of potatoes, so that the finished dish was quite thick from disintegrated potato but still had potato pieces. Oh it was delicious. I served it with crescent rolls from my freezer.
I also made veggie stock today! I pulled out two bags of frozen veg bits from the freezer, one was all potato peels (from Thanksgiving) and one was celery, onion, carrot, parsnips, and a handful of other things. I'm too lazy to go see what I wrote down on the bag. :-P I added that plus a quartered onion and the remains of four heads of lettuce to water and pretty much the same spices as the stew. Oh, and red pepper flakes. I let that cook for about 3 or 4 hours, strained it, and bottled it. It made about 120 oz, split between three 44 oz jars, with enough headroom to let me freeze them. This is super exciting!
Today I also cuddled starter, as she was looking sad in the fridge, and quite deflated. I fed her, and she perked right up sitting next to the simmering soups! She doubled in 4 hours like a healthy starter should, so I started up a proof with a new recipe: I used 1 c. all purpose and 2 c. white whole wheat, a bit of powdered milk, a heaping tablespoon of honey, and about 2 c. filtered water. When I work with it tomorrow morning, I'll just use all purpose flour and probably mix in some dried cranberries. Perhaps I'll also try to add in a cinnamon-sugar swirl when shaping it? I'm so excited to do something beyond a plain sourdough!
Also, for my own benefit, here are some sourdough recipes from sourdoughhome.com
Pizza Crusts
Bagels
Blueberry Muffins <-- I would have made this tonight if I had eggs
Rolls
English Muffins
Kaiser Rolls
For Superbowl Sunday, during the halftime show, we made onion strings and fried kasseri cheese using the same breading. As my one Calphalon pan started smelling and spluttering while we were heating the oil, I pulled out my wok for this one. Man it's been awhile since the wok and I were friends!
I learned today that my new favorite quesadilla is: cheddar, spinach and sour cream on the side. OMG delicious. It reminded me quite a bit of fried pierogi.
We've had thawing since last Thursday stewing venison that we got from my dad this Christmas (I love that my dad now hunts!), so venison stew needed to be made. We based it off of a sausage soup that we'd made recently, which Mister apparently based off of goulash? Any way, it involved frying onions in olive oil and bacon fat (venison is very lean, so needs fat added), browning the meat (which was prechopped to a decent size! I didn't expect that), deglazing the pan with a splash of brandy, adding beef stock, carrots, potatoes and spices: bay, salt, pepper, oregano, paprika, cumin, coriander (for those not in the US, this is the seeds, not the leaves), tarragon and cayenne. I let it cook down for about 4 hours, adding in two other batches of potatoes, so that the finished dish was quite thick from disintegrated potato but still had potato pieces. Oh it was delicious. I served it with crescent rolls from my freezer.
I also made veggie stock today! I pulled out two bags of frozen veg bits from the freezer, one was all potato peels (from Thanksgiving) and one was celery, onion, carrot, parsnips, and a handful of other things. I'm too lazy to go see what I wrote down on the bag. :-P I added that plus a quartered onion and the remains of four heads of lettuce to water and pretty much the same spices as the stew. Oh, and red pepper flakes. I let that cook for about 3 or 4 hours, strained it, and bottled it. It made about 120 oz, split between three 44 oz jars, with enough headroom to let me freeze them. This is super exciting!
Today I also cuddled starter, as she was looking sad in the fridge, and quite deflated. I fed her, and she perked right up sitting next to the simmering soups! She doubled in 4 hours like a healthy starter should, so I started up a proof with a new recipe: I used 1 c. all purpose and 2 c. white whole wheat, a bit of powdered milk, a heaping tablespoon of honey, and about 2 c. filtered water. When I work with it tomorrow morning, I'll just use all purpose flour and probably mix in some dried cranberries. Perhaps I'll also try to add in a cinnamon-sugar swirl when shaping it? I'm so excited to do something beyond a plain sourdough!
Also, for my own benefit, here are some sourdough recipes from sourdoughhome.com
Pizza Crusts
Bagels
Blueberry Muffins <-- I would have made this tonight if I had eggs
Rolls
English Muffins
Kaiser Rolls
Saturday, February 4, 2012
OMG YOU GUYS
I'm pretty sure that I've found my ninja duck!
I think they're a scoter of some variety or another.
the Black or American Scoter
White Winged Scoter
Also, K, remember my theory about ducks? There are two types of ducks in the world, Mallards and not-Mallards? I'm mostly right! Apparently the majority of domestic ducks are descended from Mallards (with one, the Seneca Duck being descended from the American Black Duck and two being descended from the Moscovy Duck). Also, Mallards are in the largest family of duck-like objects, and can mate with almost any of them. Some species are in danger of being wiped out because they have too much Mallard loving. I love being vindicated about stupid shit. :-P
I think they're a scoter of some variety or another.
the Black or American Scoter
White Winged Scoter
Also, K, remember my theory about ducks? There are two types of ducks in the world, Mallards and not-Mallards? I'm mostly right! Apparently the majority of domestic ducks are descended from Mallards (with one, the Seneca Duck being descended from the American Black Duck and two being descended from the Moscovy Duck). Also, Mallards are in the largest family of duck-like objects, and can mate with almost any of them. Some species are in danger of being wiped out because they have too much Mallard loving. I love being vindicated about stupid shit. :-P
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