Gigs!

So I now have two part-time gigs. One, is that every Wednesday I help out at a farm stand in the Farmer's Market to the tune of $10/hour or its equivalent in vegetables. OM NOM NOM.

Also, I applied for, and got, a gig to make a vintage style dress for a lovely dude from Craigslist. He has a comedy act that involves dressing like Queen Elizabeth II, and his previous dress was a hacked together creation that is falling apart. So I'm going to work with him to create something beautiful and 50s style, and we'll probably work out some barter as he's a photographer and offered to shoot my wedding. Woot! I had completely forgotten about having to look into that!

I'm actually pretty excited to work on that dress, as it should be fun, and the guy seems awesome. We sent like 50 emails back and forth, and it should be an excellent collaboration. We're going to meet this Sunday to figure out exactly what we want to do.

Also, our band is now officially named: Ahab's Elephant. I've put in an application for this awesome seeming gig. An inn in Vermont will provide free room and board in exchange for musicians playing in their hall. So, hopefully they'll let us play!

Mock-Up Nearly Finished!

It needs sleeves, a finished edge along neckline, and either buttons or a zipper. But the main bodice and skirt are done!

Life is Busy

Man, who knew that classes could keep a person busy? Add in guest performing for a local symphony, applying to a local wind ensemble, and cooking tasty meals with friends, and you have a full schedule.

But yeah, my studio prof invited me to perform with the symphony that he's a member of. First concert was hard as hell as I didn't get the music and I sightread it for the two rehearsals I attended. I get the music for the concert at the end of this month this Thursday. :-P

I have a happy new reed that I made last week. I love having working reeds. The second clarinetist in orchestra sharpened my knives for me as I'm terrible at it.

The county wind ensemble is looking for oboists -- I've put in my application, and the conductor should be getting in contact...

Have I mentioned that I received venison from my dad? We just cooked some tasty venison steak tonight with brussel sprouts. So tasty. And on Saturday, Mister and I went to a local sausage maker and bought knockwurst, smoked Hungarian sausage and smoked Polish sausage. Add in my buddy Martin's fried cabbage, our mashed potatoes with cheese, sourdough bread with spread and lots of beer, and you have the recipe for an awesome night. Sometimes, food really is the greatest thing in life.

On the wedding front: the invitations are in, Mister and I are just hammering out the guest list. I think we're pretty close, although K, you know some of the problems. :-P I've also been poking some more at the dress and possibilities for shoes. The bandmaster of the group we want to hire is incredibly busy so hasn't gotten back to confirm details, but we're pretty sure that it'll work out. We still need to contact the caterer. We had a design session with our jeweler, and good news! The design I want, and the size that I need are in her stock selection. She just has to adjust the size slightly (from a 5.5 to a 5.25). Mister's ring requires a bit more. But knowing that mine'll be pretty cheap makes me happy.

And I think that's life!

My Single Problem with Wedding Planning

Mister's got opinions. Oh gods does he have opinions. There is none of the stereotypical "let the bride do what she wants while the groom hides" business. I wish that there was.

Mister always goes on and on about how happy he is that he's with someone with strong opinions -- lemme tell you, the feeling is NOT mutual! I don't want a doormat, but fer the love of the gods, shut up sometimes and lemme do my thing without you deciding it's a poor decision.

This came up in my head as I was rereading some APW articles, and folks were like "my groom doesn't care! waaaaaah" And I'm like whoa whoa, some people get to do this without negotiations? Without massive amounts of discussion and angry faces (from me)? Some ladies get to say: Hmm, I really like this invitation, honey buy it now plx -- and it happens?

That and he keeps saying that there's still so much to decide -- yet whenever I'm like "what do we have to talk about" he's got nothing? I'm sorry, the time is OVER for over-thinking shit, we're at decision-land. I'm getting invites out by March 1st and we have to get our caterer and band set up as we STILL have not contacted them. (Guess who's job that is? If you guessed someone OTHER than me, you'd be right!)

Then there's the fact that I'm writing blog posts about wedding stuff at 2:40pm on a Tuesday, as I've got oodles of free time during business hours and Mister works. This means that I get to think on this kind of stuff for hours before he lets the air out of my balloons.

Bah. I think my life would be easier if Mister stopped acting like he cared.

N.B. This post is merely venting. we're doing fine, even if I sometimes want to throttle him when he vetoes carefully laid out plans.

Photography

We had intended on asking a coworker of Mister's if he would be interested in shooting our wedding, as he does beautiful work. Well, the talk came yesterday, and he said no! :-( He said that there is so much editing that goes into wedding photos that he doesn't want to have to take the time to do it.

Which I understand. And my first instinct was: but we don't want a lot of processing! He doesn't need to do any! Yet, as he's a professional, if he has a minimum level of quality, I don't want him to compromise that level by putting his name on an "inferior" product.

Looks like we're going with bowls of disposables!

Some Food Stuff

So today in Theory, the lovely girl who sits behind me had a present for me: Cranberry Marmalade! I told her I'd have to bring her some applesauce. Isn't that the sweetest thing? She said she felt like such a goof having it in her bag, and that it was a lame gift. In case you couldn't tell, we've bonded over food. She told me that I should bring her on my honeymoon to King Arthur Flour-land. So I'm currently making a batch of rolls to spread delicious marmalade upon. I have to report back, after all!

Update: verdict? OMG delicious.

Speaking of cranberries, this recipe for pickled cranberries sound intriguing. Just look at how pretty they are!



Also, tasty looking Chicken and Dumplings



Also a few ideas for wedding stuff.

Honey in a cute little jar as a favor! Love it!


Absolutely beautiful calligraphy on those envelopes. Must use...


And a cute looking Scarf Pattern.

Aha... sorta

Advance 9423

Now to actually find the PATTERN, not just the image on the envelope!

Dress!!!!!!!!!!!

That is EXACTLY the dress shape I want for my wedding dress! Ideally it'd also have straps or perhaps little cap sleeves and different detailing, but basically that.

Why can't I find it? I've seen it... but those that I've seen in it I can't take the dress and pull it apart (which is what I want to ask the woman in that picture to do... I don't think she would).

Wedding Planning

On Amazon.com, they have a lovely set of tools to help those that are planning a wedding. Lots of etiquette tips, check lists, planning schedules, and of course a registry at Amazon.com! As some things have changed in the planning yet there isn't an option to ADD items to the checklist (although thankfully I can delete them!), I'm going to have a running list here, based upon Amazon's.

12 Months Ahead
- announce engagement
- select sites for ceremony and reception: Mister's uncle's house for the reception, court house for the ceremony
- start working on guest list for approximate headcount: ~60 people
- introduce both sets of parents
- talk to families about budget, place, size, etc.
- open a joint bank account for wedding savings (not sure if we're going to do this one)
- set a budget for wedding rings

10 Months Ahead
- start thinking about invitations and shopping for a stationer: me, I just need to pick a font and practice it over and over again
- start scouting for vendors (all ? indicate unconfirmed status)

     - caterer: Redbones?
     - bakery: family and friends?
     - musicians: Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band?
     - photographer: Mister's coworker?
     - videographer: n/a
     - florist: Trader Joe's
     - calligrapher: me

- start sketching dress designs
- help decide landscape choices at Mister's uncle's house

8 Months Ahead
- register for gifts: just a couple things to hammer out...
- discuss wedding ring style with partner: and got an appointment set up with the jeweler in January :-D
- book your caterer (Redbones)
- book your musicians (ENSMB)
- research honeymoon
- finalize guest list and start collecting addresses
- order stationary: I have the invitations, I just need a business card-sized card with the registry address, Thank You cards and a postcard for RSVPs
- decide what cakes to make: due to brilliant brainstorming, we'll be making 10 pound cakes (of 5 recipes), so we need to pick tasty ones
- decide on a dress design
- pick out fabric and notions
- make decisions about disposable vs. real dishes/glasses/flatware etc.
- start thinking about table settings

6 Months Ahead
- scout accommodations for out-of-town guests: Mister's uncle offered three bedrooms, and we MAYBE have one, but that's it
- plan menu with caterer
- plan playlist with musicians: we'll probably just say "have fun"
- shop for wedding bands: will already be done, if my January schedule works out
- book honeymoon
- mail invitations 6 months before
- work on dress?
- finalize table settings

4 Months Ahead
- research requirements for marriage license
- make honeymoon reservations
- meet with party-rental company to discuss tables and chairs
- work on dress?

2 Months Ahead
- review insurance (car, life, medical, home) documents with fiance, anticipating change in marital status
- finalize menu with caterer
- finalize beverage choices: having friends brew two kegs for us? and a handful of wines and cider?
- have dress finished by now

4 Weeks Ahead
- plan day-after brunch/party: not sure if we'll do this
- plan seating for reception
- confirm details with all vendors
- confirm honeymoon arrangements (e.g., pet sitters, housesitters, suspension of mail delivery)
- have a favor-making get-together, if you're making your own

2 Weeks Ahead
- get marriage license
- submit final playlist to musican: not sure necessary
- write out table and placecards for reception: not sure necessary
- break in your shoes
- keep up with thank-you notes (for bridal shower gifts or help with making favors, for example)
- confirm honeymoon reservations and give copy of itinerary to friend

1 Week Ahead
- pack for honeymoon
- give caterer final head count
- place fees, including tips, for all the vendors in marked envelopes, to be distributed on the day
- bake cakes/confirm who's baking cakes: ideally I'll have help with this, but I can bake cakes

One Day Ahead
- try to get a good night's sleep
- get outfit set out and ready
- pack car

Wedding Day
- if sending wedding announcements, make sure they're in the mail: I'm not sure if we'll do this, but there will be people that we won't be able to invite that this might be the right gesture for
- eat a good breakfast

Best Wedding Pictures?

Photographers

"The Packages:
Four hours $2,580
Six hours $3,450
Your Full Day $5,670"

That, according to A Practical Wedding is affordable. What is considered non-affordable?

Text for Invitation?

I want to clear up some of my tabs, so lets close the one on invitation etiquette.

Here are my thoughts on the phrasing:

[Dea-chan]
and
[Mister]
request the honor of your presence
to celebrate their marriage
at
[address]
on
[September something, 2012]
at
1 pm

RSVP: [our address]

Thoughts? It's just going to be the reception, and I'm not quite sure how to phrase that exactly. I'm also not sure if the "honor of your presence" is quite appropriate considering how godsdamned informal it's going to be. K, thoughts?

I figured in the invitation envelope would be a business card sized paper with the info for the registry, and a postcard with RSVP info (yes/no and chicken/beef/veg, etc).

Horror of All Horrors, Wedding Stuff!

Mister and I are taking the super slow route of figuring stuff out (a.k.a. he's being a bum and claiming he needs to 'think it over' for everything :-P). Now our reactions are completely par for the course as I want shit DONE and he wants it RIGHT.

What has been more or less decided:

Food: Redbones BBQ, a local (and amazing) BBQ place with catering starting from around $10/head

Ceremony: City Hall, Justice of the Peace, no witnesses (not required for JoP :-D). It requires $50 cash for license, and $12 per copy of certificate

Reception Location: Mister's uncle's house 40 mins away (which I am super proud of finding on google maps) They also have a couple of acres not visible from the road (Mister would like to add that we really have no idea where it's going to be held, but that it is an option that has been offered but we haven't actually spoken to them.)



Headcount: 60

Time of day: 1pm-4/5pm

Time of year: late September, 2012

Music: not sure if there will be any, but if we do have music, it will be Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band

Photographer: not sure if there will be one, but if we do have a photographer, it will probably be Mister's coworker, Todd

Rings: Jade Moran, same as my engagement. I will probably get palladium with a design similar to the vines on my engagement ring, although hopefully I can reuse someone's custom design for cheaper (Jade draws all of her vines very similarly :-P).

Invitations: will be done by me

Decorations: I've handed off to Mister. He said that he wanted a say in it, so I said "awesome. Your job now!" When he tried to protest, I informed him that I like surprises (unlike him) and I don't want to hear a thing about it.

Hair: I'm doing

Makeup: I'm doing

Dress: I will be making
Stats
Color: white
length: just below the knee
size: full skirt
crinoline: no, but probably petticoats (I like the weight)
sleeves: no, wide straps plus a shawl
details: some lace trim (maybe), red sash
aesthetic: fairly casual

Some Things We Are NOT Having At the Wedding*:

-- alcohol
-- first dance/Mother-Son dance/Father-Daughter dance/retardedness
-- cake. We'll probably have cookies
-- a wedding party (i.e., bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.)
-- videographer
-- stage manager
-- bachelor/bachelorette parties
-- wedding insurance (seriously guys? that's a thing?)
-- florist. any flowers will either be picked or bought at the grocery store
-- limos or other specialty vehicles
-- tuxedos
-- ring inscriptions
-- spa treatments
-- name change arrangements. Not happening for either of us.
-- toasts
-- "Throw bridesmaids' lunch or party, at which you'll distribute gifts/jewelry." <-- what is that shit? People have too much money to burn...


I dunno what else to even talk about. The registry is at Amazon, but still needs a final going over by Mister ("we have time, I'll get to it..."), I haven't picked out pretty shoes yet, I am only 12% done on my shawl, I'm not sure if there will be favors or what they would be (Mister was like "Etsy!" and I was like "$10-15/person?!" to which he went "oh yeah..." and I reminded him that my uncle's wedding had after dinner mints in a bundle of tulle.). I thought about perhaps doing the Indian Wedding Henna Party type thing, but as I'm not Indian, I can't really pull that one off. I thought about having a nuclear family brunch pre-reception, but Mister says that requiring people to have to stay two nights in an expensive area isn't very nice.

I did put my foot down and say that I'm getting prepped with the ladies, which he grumbled about. Our budget is around $2000, but we're not quite sure what ENSMB's and Todd's prices would be. If it's too much, or would double our budget ($3200 starting rates for wedding photography my ass) it shall be cut. If the music gets cut, then there won't be dancing as I find both DJs (expensive and retarded) and iPods (cheap and retarded) unworthy of attention. It'll just be food and hanging out.

Mister is super upset and worried about the dates for when we'll have the party, as his sister's getting married early September, and he's claiming late September could be too cold ("it could be snowing!"). I told him that if it's snowing I'll just add grey knitted tights to my grey crocheted shawl and call it a day.

_________

*I'm maybe acting a bit angry about some of this stuff, but I've been wading through a sea of BS ever since I started looking into a wedding. I have found exactly ONE website that I respect: A Practical Wedding as it's the only one that doesn't try to sell you stuff, have you make hand-painted tchotchkes, or care what you do so long as it's YOU. They don't care what your budget is, or what you have so long as you know why you're including what you are. Whether you're doing it because "everyone is and you hadn't thought of it/don't care enough to change it" or "it's a tradition that I find meaningful joining" or even "it's what feels right to me and my partner". The other thing I super respect is their respect towards LGBTQ weddings. Wanna hear something scary? The uber wedding site "The Knot" has this lovely little notice on the bottom:

Once you're a member of The Knot, you can easily log in to our sister sites The Nest and The Bump.

Is that not the scariest thing you've ever heard? Because once you've wasted your life planning your wedding, you're clearly not going to be doing anything other than redecorating your husbands home and popping babies. (*shudder)

P.S. Awesome pick of Mister, taken by Todd, while at Redbones