Rural Dreams

While Mister and I were driving through rural NY to get out to Camp, I feel like I saw nothing but farm stands. Left and right, farm stands. It might just be sweet corn, it might just be eggs. But I also feel like there are far more than I remember along those roads. That's not to say that there were none before, but there's merely more of them.

I don't know if this is because it's something I look for now, as opposed to merely noting, or if there are honestly more people gardening and selling their produce. If it's the latter, I say "brava!"

But driving through that beautiful farm country filled with cornfields and cows (gotta love NY), I had two recurring feelings. One was horror at the proudly labeled fields of GMO corn monocultures, and the other was just pure want. I really do want to farm in some way -- animals being the main sticking point for the city. I remember Sharon Astyk saying that her and her husband were living in the city, gardening, and it just wasn't enough. I thought (at the time) "well isn't that silly! You can get the same stuff done!" Well, I haven't fully given city farming the ol' college try, but I'm worried that it might not be enough. The lack of animals is what really bothers me.

Sure, I might be able to convince Mister that he'd be a happy man with dairy goats, but the lack of poultry for meat and eggs makes me nervous. And I know that he'd not be happy with chickens -- he made that particularly clear. He doesn't want to have to hear them. Nor tend them. Nor feed them. Nor see them. He just doesn't want them!

That and I feel like I wouldn't get done what I'd like to in a city plot. I could get a farm share or a CSA of some sort, but that wouldn't get me happy sustainability. I think the type of property that Kathy Harrison describes as her house is what I'd like to be looking towards. She has bees, birds, orchard, forest, and a full garden with hoophouse and other fun things. She also strives to feed her entire family on what she grows and works strongly in her community to build systems.

I just think that's wonderful. Perhaps, if we ever do have a crazy meltdown of society, Mister would be more interested in farming with me. At the moment? Not at all. As he put it recently "Farms are a lot of work. I don't want to have to put that much effort into where I live to keep it still liveable." And he thinks that is that. But is it?

Hmm

Sometimes, I wish that whatever change we'll see happens NOW. And immediately. I want to have to make a decision and stick to it -- not through strength of will, but because it's the only working option. I want my family to be full-time on board, and my fiance to not have stupid fights with me about the usefulness of pantries (for "there will always be grocery stores").

How long did it take for the Depression to be in full swing? Were there people who never noticed? Were there people immediately effected with their neighbors confused?

I'm reading old posts of Sharon's blog, and it just makes me long for a farm. The chances of my having a farm? So slim. But I want it. I don't know what to do with it, but I want it.

I keep trying to dive into activities that I KNOW need wading. So I buy too many seeds, and plant none of them. I lust after canners and jars, but have no produce or recipes to use. I keep saying "next year I'll..."

When will next year arrive? Please let it just arrive with a big crash. I don't want to be alone with this.

"Coming Out"

So although my mother knew of my plans to farm, etc., and was a huge supporter of this idea, I had never broached the topic with my father. My dad is VERY typical, middle-class, white collar, suburban, "American Dream" -- I could go on and on, but let's just say that I did not expect a telling to go well, nor with much understanding.

Well, I was talking with my dad today about different topics, and the subject of my long term goals came up. So, my dad asked "so what are your long term goals?" I said "you're going to laugh", of which he assured me that he wouldn't. So, I said "I want to farm". Slight pause, and my dad commented that the best way to do that is to marry a farmer!

We weren't able to finish the conversation, as I was technically on the clock, but it's a start! I still am not so sure that my dad would understand a lot of my reasons behind farming (he supports troops in Iraq, as an example), but I feel that he would be supportive. This is such a HUGE weight off of my chest that I never even knew was there!

So between finding it easier and easier to tell people that this is my dream, having people UNDERSTAND it (and slightly share it!), and having my family on board... I am in a comfortable place at the moment. I may not be where I want to be eventually, but I feel like I've made an important step in the right direction.