Thursday, October 6, 2011

Frustration

I am easily frustrated most of the time, but I've been noticing it more lately. Between picking fights with classmates over stupid things like politics and religion (why oh why would I ever get involved in those discussions...) and just day-to-day stresses, I have been snappy lately.

My current problem? I both feel neglected by some and taken advantage of by others. Mister has been having to work 12+ hour days at his job nearly every day. This is because HIS coworkers have not really been doing their jobs and he's been doing most of the work. So when he gets home, he's tired, he's hungry and he's pissed at his job. I feel like I never see him, as he's always at work, and when he is at home, he's usually trying to distract himself with video games or something. Now, I realize that I'm needy and that he's the only one making money in this household, but still -- a little attention?

I also have a temporary roommate that has been here for over a month. She's making some questionable life choices in that she's waiting on two non-dependable people to move out here by the end of this month or mid-November (say what?), and hasn't paid rent for two weeks because she hasn't gotten paid...? I am thoroughly confused as to how she could have been working for several weeks and not gotten paid. We're asking a nominal amount of money -- it's really not that significant, but it's spending money for us as we're spending most of the paycheck on rent and payments.

She's also currently sleeping, as she works the overnight shift. Which means that when I come home to my house, I have to tiptoe around and not play music because there's someone sleeping. Or, at least the door is shut, so I assume she's sleeping.

Also in cranky mode over here, she leaves the fan on ALL THE TIME. I tried explaining to her that the fan works much better if you OPEN THE WINDOW rather than move the same stale, hot air around, but she kinda brushed it off by saying that she didn't want to hear people on the street. I can HEAR the fan, and it frustrates the hell out of me, knowing that it's 60 degrees F outside, yet my roommate "needs" a fan running on my electricity. I'm currently wearing two sweaters for crissakes.

The other thing that's been frustrating me is part of school. For my eartraining class, there was a group performance/sight-reading assignment for LAST Friday that got pushed to THIS Friday as most were not ready. I banged it out over and over on the keyboard until I got it in my head while home sick last week, and I've had it memorized (all three parts) since last Thursday. My partners? The one is nearly tone-deaf, and the other claims to have no time. Ok, I can work with this, and I'll set aside time when I'm on campus to practice (I'm not about to go too far out of my way as to be available during times when I'm not on campus). So the performance in front of my professor is tomorrow, and for the rehearsal today? The one who texted back saying he'd be there never showed, and the other one hadn't brought his book, looked off of mine but so clearly didn't care that he was misreading rhythms that are less complex than children's songs. (Seriously, it's in 3/4 and the rhythm was 1--|1 2 3|1--|1 2 3|1- 3|1 2 3|1- 3+| etc.) I was having to add a beat every other measure just to keep the harmony accurate.

I mean, I realize it's a stupid little assignment that really doesn't mean anything. I know this because I've had it MEMORIZED for a solid week. You can't tell me that I'm so magically brilliant that I'm learning stuff easily that others cannot, when it's frickin' quarter notes and dotted halves. I can tell some things that my partners are doing wrong and hindering their learning, but it's not my job to teach them how to learn. So I've been trying to beat the melody into their heads. As much as I like these two people, I need to have a talk with them about taking my time for granted as well as whether or not it would be worth it to attempt to work with them again.

The one kid who doesn't care, I'll just be blunt and explain that unless he's not going to be an ass (unlikely), I will let him work with others. The other kid tries -- I've seen him try. Him blowing me off today is what frustrated me the most, as I was in the practice room because HE needed it, not I. I also can't tell whether or not he practices. If he does, he doesn't get any better so he must be doing something wrong. Add in the tone-deafness and it's a fabulous combination. He'd say 'do' and sing "mi" or something similar -- and not hear the difference! I've tried saying: stay on the SAME NOTE -- and he still gets off somehow. I dunno. Again, not my job to figure out how to make this work for him but I can certainly try with what is within my power.

... it's funny, but they both were asking if I was in the education track, as I guess they felt that I was either being teacher-ly (I probably was) or doing a decent job of teaching. It's just so frustrating to see something being done WRONG and not be able to fix it personally. I just wish that I could record my voice singing three times and loop it and call the project done. :-P But then that eliminates the other part of the test which is listening to your partners and making music. And that's what it's all about.

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