So, life is working out for me right now.
Firstly, I have a sweet apartment. I move in September 1st, two roommies, both dudes, both audio engineers. The one is more awesome than the other, as one reminds me a great deal of Jack Black. Eh, whatevs. But it's ridiculously cheap and near my friend J's house (which is where we've been having band practice of late). It's a third floor walk up, roof access, garden if I want (it's a jungle currently), screened in porch, an awesome big, black cat named Sgt. Pepper, and a WORK SPACE. My one roommate does a lot of bike repair, and I'll probably have my reed making supplies in there. Looking forward to moving in!
Secondly, I have a job! And I can work around school and ensembles. It's at a Call Center close to my home, where I'll mostly be calling for donations to political campaigns. So yeah, it's sales, but it's money and it's FLEXIBLE scheduling which is amazing. It's three shifts during the week and one during the weekend. Just what I need.
Funny thing about the call center, I missed a call from the manager last Friday (I was underground). As I'm sitting in my new apartment yesterday, hanging with my new roommies, one of the girls who is moving out mentions that she not only WORKS at that call center, but is really good friends with the manager who called me! So I stopped in personally today, filled out the application, did the interview, etc. while of COURSE dropping the name of the woman I met yesterday. :-P She of course swore up and down that she's known me forever and that I'm awesome. Serendipitous.
Oh, and the third thing that's awesome right now? Mister and I are on good terms. We're pretty much dating again, but we're both in therapy and I'm moving out. All of these are to help break the bad habits that we keep falling into. I'm still in this apartment until the end of the month, and we've both noticed old habits luring us in -- like my calling him all the live long day and cooking dinner for us and him buying me coffee in the morning. There's good reasons why we've been together for over five years, and there's good reasons why we need to work on the relationship. We both think that my moving into a different apartment (that'll have cool people! and a kitty!) will help break my dependency issues and be a non-subtle reminder to our thoughts that things are different and should be different.
It's funny though, with all of my books off of the bookshelves, Mister doesn't have enough books to fill ONE bookshelf -- much less the three that he has. Oh well.
I'll have to do a post soon figuring out what I'll need for the new apartment. But I'm so excited that life appears to be looking up!
You do have to be independent individuals (psychologically) in order to have a truly successful relationship as a couple, but couples do develop "dependencies" in time, and that is part of their strength.
ReplyDeleteHow are you doing?
The issue was I was not able to function individually. I do things like not eat, sleep all day, and not bathe. I need to figure out how to do that -- that is the problem with my dependence.
ReplyDeleteI think it's solveable, and I think that long-term we will probably be together. But we have to relearn why it is that we're together, and not do it because it's habit.
Working through this kind of thing has been useful in that it's helped me learn how I work. And from there I can learn what is possible to change about myself and what is not. For example, I recently realized in words that I don't think without text. Without typing or writing down words, I can't follow a thought through. Now, I've known this for a while, but haven't actually put it into words and realized that I need to utilize this information more fully in every day life.
So, aside from the nasty head cold I gave myself digging through months of dust, I'm doing ok right now. Thank you. :-) It's been rough for a while, but I think I'm coming through ok.