Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Surprise Gifts

K -- let's not mention any of this to the parentals, ok? Mom and N are no longer really on speaking terms...

How did I forget to mention this? As many people who know me in person are aware, Mister's sorta-aunt N is very close to me. She's the significant other of Mister's uncle, but is already married... it's a nasty situation, and I hope to never need to make such a decision.

She is the one who was to host our wedding. She is the one who bought me my sewing machine (the glorious thing that it is!). She is the one who went fabric shopping with me and my mother. She is the one who lent me Mister's Great-Grandfather's and Great-Great Grandfather's autobiographies, feeling that if I was marrying into the family I should know that Mister gets his craziness honestly.

N is also the one who saw me at my lowest ebb the week that Mister and I called things off. I hadn't eaten for 30 hours (and not much when I last ate) and I was a messy ball of emotions. She is the one who emailed my mother and said that I was probably in emergency situation-land.

And thus, my mother appeared on the doorstep the next morning and apparently blithely told N that she must have been hallucinating. (My mother told me that N emailed, and also told me that she thought I seemed ok. I told her that yes, I was -better-, but not -good-. I guess it lost a bit in translation -- my mother apparently was quite rude, even if unmeaning to.) N told me later that if she'd had the legal authority to do so, she'd have checked me into a hospital that night.

I saw N again the evening of the fourth, when Mister and I went to his kid sister's concert. (It was fabulous btw -- I had no idea she had coloratura chops! Still a lot to work on, but she's only 16. She'll do fine.) I told her about how the trip to NY went (disastrous) and the initial discussion with my parents (worse than a disaster -- almost abusive). She was incredibly upset and worried for me, and told me that if I ever needed her, she was around. Which I appreciate. As I've said, she's very dear to me, and even knowing that she's technically part of Mister's family, I rely on her a great deal.

[My relations with my parents have become much more cordial. My dad apologized for things that he had said in haste, and my mother has probably forgotten what she's said. I have come out of it with no long lasting scars, and perhaps it was better to clear the air among the three of us. I have finally reached the point where I can talk on the phone with them, as opposed to communicating my email. Perhaps I was more hurt than I though...]

Monday the sixth rolled around, and around 5pm, N showed up at the front door. She had two dozen tea roses, a bunch of bananas, St. John's Wort, and multivitamins. All for me. I put the roses in a vase and ate a banana. I was incredibly grateful for the St. John's Wort, as I didn't have any in the house. I had chamomile, but that will merely give a gentle calm, as opposed to actually helping mood. N told me how a friend found that her mood and well-being were greatly improved by having a banana every day and drinking four tall glasses of water. The vitamin and the St. John's wort I didn't need telling to know how they can help bring some balance.

I've asked Mister if he's noticed a difference the week I've been taking these, and he said that there has been a significant improvement in my mood. Which is fabulous. I'm not sure how much is the St. John's Wort and how much is just having life going pretty well. Perhaps it feels like it's going so well BECAUSE my mood was already lifted by the St. John's Wort. I don't feel like experimenting with it right now. :-P

I am incredibly grateful for the effort that N continues to put into me and I hope that no matter what happens between Mister and I, we will be close. She is one of my favorite people.


  1. what a nice article , Thanks for sharing with us .Gifts to Pakistan

  2. Can I "speak" my mind? Have you noticed a difference in HIM too?! It takes two people to make a couple.
    Thank goodness for people like N.

  3. I don't read him particularly well. I can tell when he's more or less irritable and more or less likely to do something.

    He does seem less stressed than of late, but that's mostly because of job stuff. His company is folding, and it looks like he has a really good job offer coming through.

    He's also going to be seeing a therapist as well (has his second appt tomorrow) and will be working things out. We have had a lot of communication problems and I've had a lot of depression issues (he's had fewer of those of late). Hopefully therapy will cure both.

    The thing that -I've- noticed while being on the St. John's Wort for two weeks is I have more motivation. I cleaned out my entire closet, got rid of a bunch of stuff, and put away all of the clothing that has been on our floor since May. If not earlier. I'm actually pretty surprised that I both a) wanted to do that and b) was able to complete it. It's the kind of task I've not been able to do in a long time.

    So I think I'm doing ok. :-P