Rural Dreams

While Mister and I were driving through rural NY to get out to Camp, I feel like I saw nothing but farm stands. Left and right, farm stands. It might just be sweet corn, it might just be eggs. But I also feel like there are far more than I remember along those roads. That's not to say that there were none before, but there's merely more of them.

I don't know if this is because it's something I look for now, as opposed to merely noting, or if there are honestly more people gardening and selling their produce. If it's the latter, I say "brava!"

But driving through that beautiful farm country filled with cornfields and cows (gotta love NY), I had two recurring feelings. One was horror at the proudly labeled fields of GMO corn monocultures, and the other was just pure want. I really do want to farm in some way -- animals being the main sticking point for the city. I remember Sharon Astyk saying that her and her husband were living in the city, gardening, and it just wasn't enough. I thought (at the time) "well isn't that silly! You can get the same stuff done!" Well, I haven't fully given city farming the ol' college try, but I'm worried that it might not be enough. The lack of animals is what really bothers me.

Sure, I might be able to convince Mister that he'd be a happy man with dairy goats, but the lack of poultry for meat and eggs makes me nervous. And I know that he'd not be happy with chickens -- he made that particularly clear. He doesn't want to have to hear them. Nor tend them. Nor feed them. Nor see them. He just doesn't want them!

That and I feel like I wouldn't get done what I'd like to in a city plot. I could get a farm share or a CSA of some sort, but that wouldn't get me happy sustainability. I think the type of property that Kathy Harrison describes as her house is what I'd like to be looking towards. She has bees, birds, orchard, forest, and a full garden with hoophouse and other fun things. She also strives to feed her entire family on what she grows and works strongly in her community to build systems.

I just think that's wonderful. Perhaps, if we ever do have a crazy meltdown of society, Mister would be more interested in farming with me. At the moment? Not at all. As he put it recently "Farms are a lot of work. I don't want to have to put that much effort into where I live to keep it still liveable." And he thinks that is that. But is it?

Hmm

Sometimes, I wish that whatever change we'll see happens NOW. And immediately. I want to have to make a decision and stick to it -- not through strength of will, but because it's the only working option. I want my family to be full-time on board, and my fiance to not have stupid fights with me about the usefulness of pantries (for "there will always be grocery stores").

How long did it take for the Depression to be in full swing? Were there people who never noticed? Were there people immediately effected with their neighbors confused?

I'm reading old posts of Sharon's blog, and it just makes me long for a farm. The chances of my having a farm? So slim. But I want it. I don't know what to do with it, but I want it.

I keep trying to dive into activities that I KNOW need wading. So I buy too many seeds, and plant none of them. I lust after canners and jars, but have no produce or recipes to use. I keep saying "next year I'll..."

When will next year arrive? Please let it just arrive with a big crash. I don't want to be alone with this.

And A Complete Turnabout

So, remember all of my dreams about going out into the wilderness, planting trees, building a house, having forests, and farmland and animals?

Slight change of plans.

So, BF proposed. Not for anytime soon to get married, but, to make a more serious commitment to each other. I suppose I should call him 'F' now... only then he sounds like a Bond character.

The problem with those dreams? F doesn't ever want to leave the city. He also, has no inclination towards having animals. Having a backyard full of garden? No problem. Exploring greener household solutions? No problem there either. The not having land, the not building my house, and the not having animals is going to be very saddening though. Maybe chickens and bees... >.>

Now, I'm sure that there are ways to "animal share" -- pay part of the cost, do part of the work, and reap part of the profits (such as meat and fertilizer). And, for a family, that will probably be enough. But is it enough for my husbandry desires? We'll find out.

I am fairly intrigued at the thought of having to figure out small garden plans, but still saddened by the lack of FARM. I am confident that I'll be able to create food to feed myself and whatever family I have -- and with F having a good job, and being more than likely able to KEEP said good job, I am also not worried about complete reliance upon my efforts -- if need be, I can purchase locally.

So many of my thoughts have been planning for "when I get out" and it looks like I might not now. Am I ok with this? Well, if we hadn't had a loooooooooong discussion about the logistics before the question was popped, I wouldn't have said 'yes'. There are many things I enjoy about the city. And frankly, most of the reasons why I wanted to leave were because of the accessibility of cheap(er) land. I enjoy the culture -- and this actually will give something that I've worried about slightly. In my dreams of having the Manor and family, I had thought about schooling. And your average country school isn't particularly good -- so I had figured I'd more than likely homeschool. But even if I homeschool in the city, my kids would have more opportunities just by the fact that there's more going on! If I was homeschooling to try and train mini-mes who don't follow modern culture... well, I'm screwed on that line of reasoning. But really -- did I really want that? No, I was worried that's what it would turn out to be!

I have some time to think about this, and to get prepped and decide on how to make everything work. It's just... a change.

Vet

So baby kitten went to the vet today (you call all see his picture on the sidebar there) for his annual checkup, some vaccines, and to test his urine. About 6 weeks ago, I had to take him in (luckily the vet is three blocks down my road -- no joke) for an emergency, as he was CLEARLY not doing well. Peed in the hallway, hiding under covers and whimpering, etc. Turns out, he had urine crystals.

For those who don't really have cats, or know about this, male cats can sometimes have problems with their food, and develop these crystals. If left untreated, it can block them completely, and they will die. These happens less often in non-neutered cats (I believe the testosterone limits this), and more often in cats which have been neutered EARLY (which Erik was).

So he's been on the "Good Food" for about a month, and we need to check how he is. I should have the results by tomorrow. He hasn't been having problems, but if he STILL has crystals, we're going to have to try different food again -- and it'll probably be even more expensive.

But, for the moment, he's a healthy, happy cat -- he got his rabies and feline leukemia vaccines, some drops for a minor ear infection, and lots of treats for being a Good Boy at the vet's today.

However, $224 later, it makes me wonder. What would I do if no one in my household HAD that money? (I borrowed my housemate's credit card.) What would I do in a sustainable household where there isn't cash flow because we don't need it? What will I do in the collapse?

I know that people like Sharon Astyk (from sharonastyk.com and scienceblogs.com/causabonsbook/ -- don't feel like making a hypertext) have discussed futures in which they pay for such services as doctors and vets with a barter system -- but can I see this happening in the city? I feel that this is less viable that I could see it happening in the suburbs or country.

Thankfully, we have the money now, and we'll continue to be able to afford Erik's expensive food and vet bills. And he'll keep being a happy cat and Zu'ul's mascot.