And A Complete Turnabout

So, remember all of my dreams about going out into the wilderness, planting trees, building a house, having forests, and farmland and animals?

Slight change of plans.

So, BF proposed. Not for anytime soon to get married, but, to make a more serious commitment to each other. I suppose I should call him 'F' now... only then he sounds like a Bond character.

The problem with those dreams? F doesn't ever want to leave the city. He also, has no inclination towards having animals. Having a backyard full of garden? No problem. Exploring greener household solutions? No problem there either. The not having land, the not building my house, and the not having animals is going to be very saddening though. Maybe chickens and bees... >.>

Now, I'm sure that there are ways to "animal share" -- pay part of the cost, do part of the work, and reap part of the profits (such as meat and fertilizer). And, for a family, that will probably be enough. But is it enough for my husbandry desires? We'll find out.

I am fairly intrigued at the thought of having to figure out small garden plans, but still saddened by the lack of FARM. I am confident that I'll be able to create food to feed myself and whatever family I have -- and with F having a good job, and being more than likely able to KEEP said good job, I am also not worried about complete reliance upon my efforts -- if need be, I can purchase locally.

So many of my thoughts have been planning for "when I get out" and it looks like I might not now. Am I ok with this? Well, if we hadn't had a loooooooooong discussion about the logistics before the question was popped, I wouldn't have said 'yes'. There are many things I enjoy about the city. And frankly, most of the reasons why I wanted to leave were because of the accessibility of cheap(er) land. I enjoy the culture -- and this actually will give something that I've worried about slightly. In my dreams of having the Manor and family, I had thought about schooling. And your average country school isn't particularly good -- so I had figured I'd more than likely homeschool. But even if I homeschool in the city, my kids would have more opportunities just by the fact that there's more going on! If I was homeschooling to try and train mini-mes who don't follow modern culture... well, I'm screwed on that line of reasoning. But really -- did I really want that? No, I was worried that's what it would turn out to be!

I have some time to think about this, and to get prepped and decide on how to make everything work. It's just... a change.