Thursday, August 18, 2011

Horror of All Horrors, Wedding Stuff!

Mister and I are taking the super slow route of figuring stuff out (a.k.a. he's being a bum and claiming he needs to 'think it over' for everything :-P). Now our reactions are completely par for the course as I want shit DONE and he wants it RIGHT.

What has been more or less decided:

Food: Redbones BBQ, a local (and amazing) BBQ place with catering starting from around $10/head

Ceremony: City Hall, Justice of the Peace, no witnesses (not required for JoP :-D). It requires $50 cash for license, and $12 per copy of certificate

Reception Location: Mister's uncle's house 40 mins away (which I am super proud of finding on google maps) They also have a couple of acres not visible from the road (Mister would like to add that we really have no idea where it's going to be held, but that it is an option that has been offered but we haven't actually spoken to them.)

Headcount: 60

Time of day: 1pm-4/5pm

Time of year: late September, 2012

Music: not sure if there will be any, but if we do have music, it will be Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band

Photographer: not sure if there will be one, but if we do have a photographer, it will probably be Mister's coworker, Todd

Rings: Jade Moran, same as my engagement. I will probably get palladium with a design similar to the vines on my engagement ring, although hopefully I can reuse someone's custom design for cheaper (Jade draws all of her vines very similarly :-P).

Invitations: will be done by me

Decorations: I've handed off to Mister. He said that he wanted a say in it, so I said "awesome. Your job now!" When he tried to protest, I informed him that I like surprises (unlike him) and I don't want to hear a thing about it.

Hair: I'm doing

Makeup: I'm doing

Dress: I will be making
Color: white
length: just below the knee
size: full skirt
crinoline: no, but probably petticoats (I like the weight)
sleeves: no, wide straps plus a shawl
details: some lace trim (maybe), red sash
aesthetic: fairly casual

Some Things We Are NOT Having At the Wedding*:

-- alcohol
-- first dance/Mother-Son dance/Father-Daughter dance/retardedness
-- cake. We'll probably have cookies
-- a wedding party (i.e., bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.)
-- videographer
-- stage manager
-- bachelor/bachelorette parties
-- wedding insurance (seriously guys? that's a thing?)
-- florist. any flowers will either be picked or bought at the grocery store
-- limos or other specialty vehicles
-- tuxedos
-- ring inscriptions
-- spa treatments
-- name change arrangements. Not happening for either of us.
-- toasts
-- "Throw bridesmaids' lunch or party, at which you'll distribute gifts/jewelry." <-- what is that shit? People have too much money to burn...

I dunno what else to even talk about. The registry is at Amazon, but still needs a final going over by Mister ("we have time, I'll get to it..."), I haven't picked out pretty shoes yet, I am only 12% done on my shawl, I'm not sure if there will be favors or what they would be (Mister was like "Etsy!" and I was like "$10-15/person?!" to which he went "oh yeah..." and I reminded him that my uncle's wedding had after dinner mints in a bundle of tulle.). I thought about perhaps doing the Indian Wedding Henna Party type thing, but as I'm not Indian, I can't really pull that one off. I thought about having a nuclear family brunch pre-reception, but Mister says that requiring people to have to stay two nights in an expensive area isn't very nice.

I did put my foot down and say that I'm getting prepped with the ladies, which he grumbled about. Our budget is around $2000, but we're not quite sure what ENSMB's and Todd's prices would be. If it's too much, or would double our budget ($3200 starting rates for wedding photography my ass) it shall be cut. If the music gets cut, then there won't be dancing as I find both DJs (expensive and retarded) and iPods (cheap and retarded) unworthy of attention. It'll just be food and hanging out.

Mister is super upset and worried about the dates for when we'll have the party, as his sister's getting married early September, and he's claiming late September could be too cold ("it could be snowing!"). I told him that if it's snowing I'll just add grey knitted tights to my grey crocheted shawl and call it a day.


*I'm maybe acting a bit angry about some of this stuff, but I've been wading through a sea of BS ever since I started looking into a wedding. I have found exactly ONE website that I respect: A Practical Wedding as it's the only one that doesn't try to sell you stuff, have you make hand-painted tchotchkes, or care what you do so long as it's YOU. They don't care what your budget is, or what you have so long as you know why you're including what you are. Whether you're doing it because "everyone is and you hadn't thought of it/don't care enough to change it" or "it's a tradition that I find meaningful joining" or even "it's what feels right to me and my partner". The other thing I super respect is their respect towards LGBTQ weddings. Wanna hear something scary? The uber wedding site "The Knot" has this lovely little notice on the bottom:
Once you're a member of The Knot, you can easily log in to our sister sites The Nest and The Bump.

Is that not the scariest thing you've ever heard? Because once you've wasted your life planning your wedding, you're clearly not going to be doing anything other than redecorating your husbands home and popping babies. (*shudder)

P.S. Awesome pick of Mister, taken by Todd, while at Redbones


  1. I love it when people post about their wedding plans, because then I feel totally entitled to give them MY advice! :) So, here it is: a honeymoon is mandatory. Skip and skimp on the rest, but make sure you and your groom go away for at least 4 days right after the wedding. A wedding is a celebration of a couple with all the loved ones, and the honeymoon prolongs that wonderful happy and unique moment.

  2. We had been intending on a vacation around that time, but we're not quite sure when the timing is going to work out. But I suppose if nothing else, a little get-away will help get rid of any lingering stress from the wedding. :-P